Each day, hundreds of Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference student-athletes push themselves to new levels in order to get one step closer to achieving their goals, whether it’s to finish a race, score a goal or win a national championship. For two MIAC athletes though, possessing the strong will of a student-athlete means much more than winning – it is key to their survival.
Michael Mockler, a junior cross-country runner at Saint Mary’s University, and Matt Collins, a second-semester quarterback at Gustavus Adolphus College, both have faced life-threatening illnesses within the last year and have beaten the odds to return to competition in their respective sports this fall.
‘I now give thanks each day I am able to run’
Mockler, a native of Dubuque, Iowa, made his return to running cross country for the Cardinals on Sept. 4 at the Saint Mary’s Alumni Meet after missing the indoor and outdoor track-and-field seasons last year following the diagnosis of a brain tumor.
In late 2009, Mockler was experiencing, “dream-like déjà vu feelings,” that he knew weren’t normal. During winter break, he saw a neurologist who diagnosed him as having partial temporal lobe seizures. This January, Mockler had an MRI and a biopsy which revealed he had a slow-growing astrocytoma tumor in his right temporal lobe which was the size of a small lime.
The diagnosis was not one that Mockler and his family had hoped to hear.
“My initial reaction was shock and a little emotional after the phone call revealing the diagnosis,” said Mockler, who went to practice that day and told his teammates and coaches the news.
Despite the horror and shock that came with the diagnosis, Mockler remained strong with the support of his family, friends, teammates, coaches and the Saint Mary’s community.
“There are so many people who have things a lot tougher than I do,” Mockler said. “What I went through is merely a fraction of what other people have and are going through. I can’t stress the importance of faith and support enough and what a huge role it plays.”
In June, Mockler’s tumor was removed and he was able to begin running after two weeks. However, the pathology results revealed the tumor was a malignant gleoma that could not be completely removed. He then began intensive radiation and chemotherapy in July and continued treatment through late August.
Mockler is currently waiting to find out what the next step is for treatment but has meanwhile returned to running for Saint Mary’s.
“Not being able to compete was tough and the struggle it took to get back to running makes this comeback so much sweeter,” he said.
Saint Mary’s head cross country coach Ward Berndt said Mockler has matured greatly from his ordeal and his positive attitude is inspiring.
“From the beginning he had a positive attitude about the outcome, but nothing brings life more into focus than finally realizing that each day is a gift and shouldn’t be taken for granted,” Berndt said. “Again, something like this helps put things in perspective about what is important and I feel that for Michael the value of family and faith are more firmly galvanized than ever.”
Not only has Mockler’s return helped his teammates and others appreciate the value of one’s own life, but Berndt said that his return has changed how his teammates approach competition. Berndt said the team has learned that races are more about “challenging your personal boundaries. It becomes harder to slack on workouts when you see someone who just had chemo busting his tail and relishing in the simple fact that he can do this again.”
Returning to a sport that, in its nature, puts a lot of physical stress on the body has been especially difficult for Mockler after intensive radiation and chemotherapy treatments. But like a true competitor, he is determined to return to his former level, while still appreciating his ability to compete.
“I have learned not to take things for granted,” Mockler said. “This especially applies to being able to run, which I now give thanks each day I am able to run. I am lucky enough to be able to compete again and I am inspired to run each race as if it is my last.”
Like many athletes do in their darkest moments, Mockler turned to his faith in order to make his comeback and has continued to draw strength from that.
“Having my faith in God is extremely important to me and I believe He has given me a blessing in disguise,” Mockler said. “All this sounds like a terrible experience, but nothing has been that bad. He hasn’t given me anything I can’t handle.”
In addition to the perspective he received, Mockler hopes his story inspires others to live life to the fullest and take advantage of every opportunity.
“I hope that others can be inspired to live their life to the fullest each day,” Mockler said. “I hope people will set goals and go get them.”
Berndt also hopes that people can take away personal value and growth from Mockler’s story.
“Every story has layers of ugly and beautiful and often times it’s the layers of ugly that you are given, but it is the layers of beautiful that you can cultivate,” Berndt said.
‘There was no way I wasn’t getting on the field again’
Like Mockler, Matt Collins has proven that the mentality of a student-athlete is valuable in surviving life’s most difficult tests.
Collins had just completed his senior season of high school football in Le Center, Minn., and was competing in his senior season of basketball in Feb., 2009, when he began feeling tired and achy all over and had difficulty breathing. After three misdiagnoses, Collins learned he had Pre-B Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (A.L.L.).
Leukemia is a cancer of the bone marrow and blood which causes uncontrolled growth and accumulation of abnormal cells that prohibit normal infection-fighting white cells from forming. Because doctors have seen more success in treating children with A.L.L. than adults, Collins agreed to be a part of a trial that would treat adults (age 15 and older in cancer patients) with a more intensive treatment that is usually given to children with A.L.L.
Much like Mockler and his family, Collins experienced feelings of uncertainty but was thankful for his strong support system of family and friends.
“I did not know a lot about leukemia and I was scared of the unknown but I knew it was something I was going to have to get through,” Collins said.
For the first nine months of his intensive chemotherapy treatments, Collins and his family stayed at the Ronald McDonald House in Rochester so he could receive treatments at Mayo Clinic. Collins underwent extreme weight and muscle loss that made it very difficult for him to walk. He also had temporary brain inflammation that impaired the right side of his body for an extended period of time.
He arrived home in Oct., 2009, and began rehabilitation that included relearning to walk. Collins began taking classes at Gustavus in February and immediately began lifting and working out with the football team. He was determined to reach his ultimate goal throughout his battle with A.L.L. – to return to playing football.
“I knew all along that I wanted to play football again and there was no way I wasn’t getting on the field again,” Collins said. “There were days I didn’t think I would ever play again. My friends and family along with God helped me remain strong through it all.”
Collins has returned to football and is fully participating in Gustavus practices and games. He is currently in remission, but has three years of maintenance therapy which includes taking daily chemotherapy medications and receiving monthly chemotherapy injections.
Collins, like Mockler, hasn’t let his leukemia hold him back or bring him down. He said being an athlete has helped his recovery because athletes, “are often faced with adversity. Whether it’s having a bad game or dealing with some kind of injury or whatever it may be, you’re always taught to keep your head up and that was something that really helped me.”
Though Collins has returned to football, it is a constant struggle to return to his previous physical form. He hasn’t let that stop him from pushing himself to the next level. He even said he has, “a new appreciation for the simple things in life, even the things that stink like conditioning after practice or doing homework.”
His new appreciation of life is something Collins, like Mockler, hopes people will take away from his experience.
“I always tell people that since I have recovered from leukemia, I have never had a bad day,” Collins said. “There is no reason to. You have been given every day to make what you can of it, so why not be positive throughout it and make the most of everyday you’re given. That is the way I am living my life right now, without any worries and without any negativity.”
‘Play every play like it is your last’
Mockler and Collins are true testaments to the belief that if you put your mind to something, you can do it, but they have taken this mindset to the next level. Their competitive nature has not only helped them overcome life-threatening illnesses, but they have pushed themselves to be stronger people and athletes. Their message to people is simple – embrace everyday as if it’s the last. Or as Collins would put it, “Play every play like it is your last, because you never know when it could be your last.”